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Scott Rintoul: Double Trouble

Thursday, 29.10.2009 / 12:00 PM / Features
By Scott Rintoul
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Scott Rintoul: Double Trouble

In the words of Forest Gump, “me and Jenny was like peas and carrots.”

What is salt without pepper? How about ? Some things just go together, and you can’t imagine one without the other, which is why it’s so odd to see Henrik Sedin playing without twin brother Daniel for the next few weeks. Fortunately for the Canucks, Henrik has developed his game to a point where he should be able to function without his identical linemate in the short term. That concept got me thinkin’… how would other famous duos survive if they were split up?

BATMAN AND ROBIN

Half of this is an easy answer; Batman was doing just fine before Robin came along, and he would continue to defend Gotham successfully without his sidekick. Sure he wouldn’t have anyone to swap stories with and help him pick out new tights, but he’d be ok.

More from Rintoul

Scott Rintoul is a host of the BMac and Rintoul show on the Team 1040 broadcaster in the mornings.

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Robin, on the other hand, might have a few issues.

The Boy Wonder came from a circus background, and chances are he’d return to the arena he knew best. Tripping the light fantastic on the tightrope might hold his interest for a while, but eventually he would long for the days when he was a hero, not just an amusement for popcorn eaters.

Without the financial support of Bruce Wayne and his gadgets, Robin would be hard-pressed to fight much more than low-level crime. Stronger, more clever thieves would thwart his attempts to disrupt their business, and his self confidence would erode after succumbing to multiple defeats.

Chances are he’d wind up finding work with Cirque de Soleil in Vegas, developing a gambling habit and shacking up with a career cocktail waitress from his favorite casino.

BERT AND ERNIE

Seemingly so different, these puppet pals would have trouble finding anyone willing to put up with their eccentric hobbies and habits if they were ever separated.

Bert is much more of a recluse, and a potential roommate or friend would have a tough time getting to know him. Tough to picture anyone accepting his affinity for collecting both paper clips and bottle caps. Most are found on the ground or in the garbage… probability of swine flu increases dramatically.

Though Bert is not alone in his fascination with pigeons, his obsession with the letter “W” and his love of boring stories scream “troubled loner” to anyone that doesn’t know the guy. While Bert’s comfortable being alone, Ernie’s antics allow him to blow off steam. Were that internal frustration allowed to fester, Bert would snap and wind up in an institution.

Ernie’s carefree attitude would also doom him eventually.

Hey, taking bubble baths and singing to your rubber ducky is relaxing, but it doesn’t exactly pay the bills. Ernie is so wrapped up in that water fowl friend of his that he can’t even concentrate on the saxophone long enough to learn how to play it properly. A big fan of games, Ernie would be a good dude to have at parties, especially if karaoke was involved.

However, mounting housing costs would result in more than a few calls from Collections. I doubt that Ernie would be happily belting out a tune when the repo man showed up for his furniture. Bert may be a wet blanket, but Ernie needs the structure provided by his cone-headed crony.

FREDDIE AND EDDIE

This Shreddies duo had a meteoric rise to prominence in the 1990’s when Post decided to make the pair the mascots of its whole wheat cereal. The pair was constantly involved in thirty second escapades that somehow tied into a nutritious breakfast, and they rode their collective celebrity to fame and fortune for the better part of a decade.

Freddie always appeared to be the more stable of the two. Whereas Eddie would often initiate the activity in the commercial, Freddie usually provided the necessary solution to whatever quandary they found themselves in. Had the pair ever parted ways, Freddie most likely would have found himself a steady job somewhere in Shreddies’ management, earning a sufficient stable income. Chances are he would have met a nice female cartoon to settle down with and lived a sheltered yet satisfying life.

Eddie was a bit more of a wild card. Without Freddie to bail him out of precarious situations, Eddie would have been susceptible to falling in with the wrong crowd. It wouldn’t be much of a surprise to learn that he had developed a sugar habit, a vice that would rule his world on a daily basis. Eddie’s youthful soul could certainly be saved in rehab, but his lack of self-control would not mix well with the spoils that came with his notoriety. Eddie would be headed for the type of roller-coaster ride that is most commonly associated with rock stars, not breakfast cereal cartoons.